Mary's Story
The Agony and the Ecstacy
Baby Cheryl
Mary - Christmas 1999
My case was packed for me, and I was taken to the Airport, given a slip of paper with an address written on it along with a ten pound note, this was my taxi fare from Melbourne Airport to the unmarried mothers home in Fitzroy, and there I satyed for the next 4 months, with not so much as a letter from my mother ina ll that time.
My daughter was born on May 3rd, 1962, and you guessed it, I had to look after my own baby, bath, dress, change, and feed her, as did all the unmarried mothers in that home.. Well 21 days later, I had to say goodbye to that little baby girl, I remembered holding her in my arms, cuddling and kissing her, and trying to soak up all the little details of her timy face, to store in my heart forever.....
On my return home, my baby's father came to visit me, we were talking about our little girl, the tiny baby that I would never hold again....... My mother was obviously listening to the conversation, because she came in through the door and dragged me of the table I was sitting on, shook me till I thought my head would fall off, and told me I was never to talk about the subject again, it was finished! all over!!!!
I never talked about our little girl, the adoption, the unmarried mother's home, for 28 years... But my baby was in my thoughts, and prayers, for ever... I could shut my eyes, and I would see this tiny baby's face, but over the years the face diminished, but the tiny baby with no face was always there..
Cheryl having a bath
Cheryl going to Sunday School
After 28 years I finally went to a counseller, because I had had a nervous breakdown, and it was this counseller who eventually got me to talk about the birth and adoption experience, it was also she, who told me there was something I could do about it if I wanted to. So my search began, and two years later in 1992, Ireceived my first letter from my daughter, I was so excited that I cried, I read and reread that letter so many times I almost wore it out, but I still to this day carry it with me, it is so very precious.
We wrote to one another for twelve months, and I had rehearsed over and over what I would say to her and tell her, if we ever got to the reunion stage, and then in 1993 on my 50th birthday I was to meet her for the first time.... Un-be-known to me, my subsequent daughter Amanda had taken one of my letters and got the address and got in touch with her. My best friend and Amanda brought her to Tasmania, she was my surprise 50th birthday present.
I had been expecting a new sewing machine or a sewing cabinet, as I had already placed my order, but this was by far the greatest birthday present ever had by anyone. So much for my well rehearsed speech, that went out the window, because I got such a shock, I didn't know what to do, whether to go and put my arms around her, or to kiss her. I stopped dead in my tracks, I knew straight away, that she was my long lost daughter, as she was a mixture of myself, my younger sister, and an aunt, and she had her father's beautiful brown eyes.
Cheryl and Mary in 1999
Over the past four and a half years, we have seen one another on an average of every six months. Six months after our reunion I went to Bendigo, Victoria, where she lives, I met her adoptive mother and father, they are an older couple, but very sweet, and I got on very well with them. We all have a very good relationship.... My daughter Cheryl, has not and does not want to meet her birth father, and my two daughters have a great friendship between them.
I hope and pray, that our great friendship with each others stays that way, because I know I couldn't bear to go through losing her again.... I would just love for her to call me "Mom" just once, but I know deep down somewhere in my heart, that will probably never happen..
But I am so very pleased that we did finally meet again, and everything has turned out well.
There is so much to this story that I have left out, but maybe one day I will be able to put it all in print.
Mary Harris
President
Origins Tasmania